♥The Rose will Decay ♥

Love, is the never ending torment for my heart.
Where only emptiness and a crappy pacemaker
is what I always end up with.
I hope at least that those who feasts on my heart,
gain the happiness they deserved in the start.
Because you always leave me dying with a never ending torment,
The never ending torment that have become what I call love...

***
I'm so sensitive.
I worry about anything any everything.
I turn matters that aren't even problems into potential disasters.
I never come through with anything.
I don't try hard enough.
I get jealous over the strangest and dumbest things.
I assume the worst out of things.
I get mad out of nowhere and can't bring myself to push it aside.
I'm so aware of so many things I need to do, yet I don't do them.
I consider my problems to be so massive and tragic,
when they're not.
If someone tells me hard truths,
I get upset and consider them out to get me.

My mind so clouded by thoughts I have no reason to think about, reapair itself I must let it do. I only find myself along the bumpy path that I was told I would face, but those are the only roads I have ever driven on. Emotions were one thing that would make a person weak and I hated knowing that fact I have shut my heart down for a day to givve myself the freedom to face my fears and push my limitations. Once more I test myself only to find what is real and what is not. I face the path alone simply because no one will walk the path beside me and that is the truth about my reality, facing things alone is the only thing I know of. It was nice to have that comfort of friends supporting you when in time of need but like all things. It came to an end and did not return but simply disappeared like it was never there to begin with. I feel that way all the time I wounder if all the friends I had here in town were real or not even though they were not that long ago it feels like a life time simply because time for me has always been slow and never fast. In one year I can accomplish many things and still come back with a life time of stories. So lost in my own mind drowning with no light to see the surface and no hand to grab so I may pull myself out. The feelings I feel are scars from the pain I have endoured and those scars are there forever, one cannot simply forget them but rather grow stronger from them. I have evolved many times and finally my time for the end of my evolution is upon me.